By Nikki Schmutz

Direct cremation has been on the rise for decades, and that trend isn’t slowing down. Families are making different choices, expectations are shifting, and what it means to run a successful funeral home is changing alongside it.

Now is a good time to step back and ask a bigger question, not just about services or pricing, but about relationships. Specifically, what kind of relationship do you want to build with the families that you serve? What type of funeral business do you want to run in 10 years?

Think about this as a spectrum. On one end lies transactional businesses, and the other side relational business. Where you land has real implications for trust and loyalty.

My Recent Transactional Experience

Recently, I spoke at a conference in Detroit and stayed at a Marriott near the venue.

The experience was exactly what I expected. I showed up, checked in, got my key card, slept in a clean room, and checked out the next morning. The bed was comfortable. Nothing was broken. Everything worked the way it was supposed to.

That’s the definition of a successful transactional experience.

I didn’t build a relationship with anyone there. I didn’t interact with the same person twice. I didn’t feel known or remembered, and I didn’t expect to be. I paid for a service, received it, and moved on.

After I left, they emailed and texted me asking for a review.

I ignored it. Not because the experience was bad, but because I didn’t care enough to respond. I didn’t feel a social obligation or desire to leave a review. 

That’s how transactional businesses work. Once the transaction is complete, the relationship ends.

In Contrast: My Recent Relational Experience

Right now, I’m having a pool built in my backyard.

I have a general contractor coordinating the project, and my experience with him couldn’t be more different. I see him regularly. We talk through updates, decisions, and next steps.

I know about his family. He knows what matters to me and why certain details are important. There’s trust built through consistency, presence, and repeated one-on-one interaction. I even gave him a Christmas present.

If he asked me to leave a review, I’d do it immediately. If a friend needed a recommendation, I’d send them his way without hesitation.

Nothing about that relationship feels forced. It feels natural. 

I have a real relationship with my contractor. I don’t have a relationship with Marriott hotels. 

Why The Difference Matters

Let’s apply this to funeral service.

As you think about your position in your community and the type of business you want to build, this distinction matters. For most funeral homes and hospices, especially small, independent ones, a relational model is the stronger long-term strategy.

Relational businesses earn more referrals. They receive more reviews. They generate more word-of-mouth. And for funeral homes in particular, families are often more willing to pay for higher-margin services when trust is strong and the relationship feels personal.

Unless your core strength is delivering a very basic service at high volume with a powerful marketing engine behind it, building a relational business is usually the more sustainable choice.

How to Build a More Relational Business

Becoming more relational doesn’t require reinventing your business. It requires intention, and here are some ways you can do to make your business more relational:

1. Emphasize one-on-one connections.
   Families should feel like they are being cared for personally. Presence, listening, and empathy matter more than speed.

1. Be consistent.
   When the same representative works with a family throughout their journey, trust builds naturally. That consistency gives your brand a human face. 

1. Evaluate every interaction.
   Look closely at each touchpoint—from the first call to follow-up communication—and ask whether it’s meaningful or merely functional. How does each interaction make the family feel?

1. Extend the relationship beyond the service.
   Aftercare creates new opportunities to support families once the at-need is complete. Done right, aftercare solves real problems and helps families feel less alone moving forward.

Choosing the Kind of Business You Want to Run

Transactional businesses complete tasks well, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with that. But relational businesses do something more.

They stay with people. They earn trust. They turn one difficult moment into a long-lasting connection.

A funeral home built on relationships is also safer to run long-term. If a low-cost competitor disrupts the market, you don’t have much to worry about. You make a healthy margin and worry less about finances. 

If you’re looking for a great way to build relationships with your community, Service-Based Aftercare is a great place to start.